


Halloween Traditions

by Feneris



Category: Gravity Falls, Transcendence AU - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Egging, Gen, Halloween, Revenge, halloween pranks, snitching, tradition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 02:38:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12596272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feneris/pseuds/Feneris
Summary: Gravity Falls had many Halloween Traditions, the Northwest Halloween Party, the Pine's Candy Feast, and the Gravity Falls All You Can Burn Bonfire. David and Sarah for their part could have lived without the annual attempt to egg their house though.





	Halloween Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> My late contribution to TAU Halloween. Short, but hopefully it gives folks a few laughts.

Halloween was a much loved holiday in Gravity Falls, that much was obvious, especially when you considered the fact that they actually celebrated Halloween twice a year instead of once. It was on many people's bucket lists to see a real Gravity Falls Halloween at least once in their lives and the town didn't disappoint. The town was buried in decorations, authentic Gravity Falls souvenirs were sold at outrageous prices, and trick-or-treaters is a wide array of costumes roamed the town asking for candy from anyone they thought would give it. 

There were also solemn traditions observed in the most unsolemn way. The "all you can burn" bonfire at the park, the Halloween party at the Northwest's ancient manor which featured real ghosts, and the Halloween Candy Feast at the supernatural library, which featured Alcor the Dreambender as the guest of honor. 

Of course not all traditions were exactly appreciated by people at large.

\--

Sanj, the owner of the Gravity Falls Convince Store, kept his store open on Halloween for two reasons. The first, was that having the store open and full of customers heading in and out discouraged pranksters from egging his front windows and TPing the building. The second, was that he did a damn good business on Halloween. Pumpkins flew off the shelves, right alongside cheap costume kits, not to mention the steady stream of people looking to buy emergency, last-minute Halloween candy. A good Halloween could keep his business afloat through even a slow Christmas. 

His smile widened when recognized the next pair of customers to enter the store. "Good news, the order came in today. I'll just grab it for you." 

He turned around, bent over, and hefted a cardboard box filled to the brim with eggs.

"Now, you wanted five cases right?"

\---

"You realize they know we're coming right?"

"Huh?" Ant leaned over the backseat and gave a confused look to his friends. "How would they know we're coming? They're not psychic are they?"

Peter Northwest raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Dude, people try to egg their house every year. They may not know we're coming, but they know someone is." 

Sally shook her head, and shifted the van into park. "That's why we're walking the rest of the way. Sneak up on them under cover of darkness and all that. I explained all this before we left."

Peter shot of a text on his phone, snapped it closed, and put it in his pocket. "I'm just pointing out that they're not going to let us just waltz up to their place."

Sally rolled her eyes, and grabbed a carton of eggs. "Well duh? If it was easy than it wouldn't be fun." She popped the car door and stepped out. And was immediately hit with a huge spray of water.

"AMBUSH!"

\---

David and Sarah lived far enough out of town that they did not get trick-or-treaters. The only exception being Isa and Greg's kids being driven up by their parents specifically to trick or treat at their house. The problem was, they were also not far enough out of town to discourage Halloween pranksters who thought they had the perfect place to egg, where there wouldn't be any inconvenient witnesses. 

After spending their first post-Halloween wiping eggs off their front window, they decided that turnabout was fair play. The next year, the pranksters driving up to their house were greeted by David springing out of the bushes with the garden hose and Sarah reviving her pitching skills with her own carton of eggs. 

\---

"They're putting up a good fight this year," David remarked as he crouched behind the car. Eggs splattered off the hood as he adjusted the setting on his pressure washer to "firehose," before snapping down his face shield and leaping out from cover. Water soaked the surrounding bushes followed by high-pitched shrieks. Wimps, he wasn't even using cold water this time. 

"Well, at least the flour is proving effective," Sarah added as she whipped a plastic baggie filled with flour into the trees. A puff of white powder filled the air accompanied by cries of disgust. "Good thing too, because it looks like they brought their own water guns this time." She darted back behind cover as another barrage of eggs whistled past her head, accompanied by several sprays of water. 

"If we add in some rotten fruit next year we'll have everything we need to make pies out of them," David commented as he laid down cover fire with the pressure washer, while Sarah gathered up another handful of eggs. 

"Troublesome teenagers baked in pies," Sarah retorted. "I like it. Fits with the spirit of the season." She shot an egg off into the night, nailing one of the kids who were trying to sneak around the side of the car and flank them. Another blast from the pressure washer sent them scurrying back into cover behind their van. 

"Shit," David swore. "I'm running out of water."

"Time to bring out the secret weapon?"

"Time to bring out the secret weapon." David agreed. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a flare gun, and fired it into the air. The bright red light lit up the surrounding, revealing the teenagers crouched in cover of the bushes, and the details of the trailer David and Sarah hitched to the back of their car. 

"HOLY SHIT! IS THAT A SEPTIC TANK?"

"RUN!"

\---

"Let's see, that's a hundred up front, another fifty for leaking us the battle plan, and another fifty for giving us a heads up that they'd be bringing water guns."

"Pleasure doing business with you," Peter Northwest said, holding out an egg-splattered hand to accept the sheaf of bills Sarah held out. 

"Tell me honestly," Sarah said. "Did you do thing for the money, or just the chance to get into an egg fight?"

"Both," Peter shrugged. "I mean, the egg fight here is tradition by now." He spread his arms out wide to encompass the egg-splattered woodlands around them, and the crows that were descending on the scene to peck at the remains of the smashed eggs. "Now, tell me honestly, is that septic tank really filled with sewage?" 

"Kid," Sarah said. "The thing about a psychological weapon, is that you never reveal if you're actually bluffing or not. Come on, we'll give you a ride home." 

"Ah, ah, ah!" David called out from the driver's seat of the car, as Peter reached for the back door handle. "Look at yourself." 

Peter looked down. His clothes were soaked through and he was covered in a coating a raw eggs and unevenly mixed dough. 

David jerked his thumb towards the trunk. "We laid down a tarp. Get in." 

\---

The Northwest Halloween party was still in full swing when they arrived at the mansion. Nonetheless, Peter's mom was waiting outside from them. David popped the trunk, and Peter climbed out in all his water-soaked, egg splattered glory. 

"You know," she sighed at last. "When I suggested it might be good for you to get a job, I didn't mean you should become a snitch."


End file.
